So it's ONE Friday finally when I'm free-er, with no OCF running late into the night or the odd occasion that tends to crop up from time to time.
I think one thing that has been on my mind a lot is 'chasing my dreams' (whatever that means) and trusting God for the future. It has FINALLY sunk into me that skimping by with the least amount of work to get semi-decent results is not the way to go. Life demands more than that, I really want to work hard and fully savour what life has to offer. I say 'I really want to' because I know how often I miss my targets. Which is another thing to work on.
Sometimes I get caught up with wanting to be in the future, where I presumptiously assume that life ahead will be 'better'... *harps playing*
I'll have my model career, swishing around CONFIDENTLY in my body-hugging designer suit , as a consultant with 5 registrars, 5 residents and interns and 5 hapless medical students trailing me around, hanging onto my every word, willingly lend me their precious pens in full knowledge they'll never get them back, giving me sickly sweet smiles in hopes that I will approve of them and allow them to climb step up on the wobbly hierarchy ladder in medicine, and they fighting to do the worst menial tasks ever, e.g. inserting catheters (to make people pee). Maybe I'm describing myself now as an overly anxious-to-please-everyone medical student. Haha! Oh, and my patients will rave about how awesome I am, and everyone will greet me with a reverent nod or a timid wave when they catch my eye in the corridors.
And of course, have my model family, with my oh-so-amazing husband who is crazy over me (the term is 'whipped', haha!), with my 2.5 children (whatever the ideal national average is), in this really tastefully-appointed home with every comfort I want. And be able to balance my work life so wondrously and have time to raise my oh-so-perfect children in their private kindergartens and schools because I will only give them the 'best'.
Not to forget, I will be active in my church, I will love God the way He should be loved, I will change the community I am in, I will develop my hobbies and passions- I'll travel, write poetry, play music, sing, record, cook, run marathons, do charity, read all sorts of books... I'll do missions in far-flung desperate countries, I'll be a leader in my community, voicing the opinions of the people. I'll do this, I'll do that.
These are not bad things. Checklists aren't all that bad, but do I need to tick off all the boxes?
Is this what I really want? A Barbie-like future seems very tempting but... plastic.
What do you fight for in this life? Who are the people you admire for the way they live their lives, and why?