more than mush

couchpotato

And so the exams are over.  Another cycle has completed- only to return next year.  Of course yes, I am having fun but this time I want it to be different- I want to make every day well spent.

There's this med student- she's a senior- I don't know her personally but I am on her emailing list for volunteer work- the sheer effort she puts into protecting the vulnerable and fighting injustice in this city Melbourne is just... mind-blowing that she would actually bother- and she does it her own way.  So admirable!  I want to be like her!

And I just watched the Hillsong United film 'We're All In This Together'.  Frankly from the point of view of a merciless film critic, the film would have not garnered much rave reviews.  But I really took away these points from the film:

1. A lot of change, revolutionary change in this world was done by the youth- I had no idea the William Wilberforce started fighting slavery around the age of 26!  (He persisted fighting slavery for 40+ years- man that IS long!)

2. A lot of change was done via revolution- i.e. drastic change with lots of sacrifice.

3. Until we do something, nothing will be done. (I used to think that change WILL come- and its up to us whether we want to be a part of it or not- but if all of us thought that way and just waited...)

As a friend said- it all seemed very surreal that we stepped right back into the culture of consumerism (cliche cliche), of gratifying my wants NOW and the idea that it's all about me after watching such human desolation and poverty.  Hmmm...  I have to admit I am one of those who perpetuate the culture.

Sometimes I can despair over the fact that what I am currently doing is pretty insignificant- not that I despise the small things- but sometimes I do wonder if I am not spending my time and energy at the right things.  I guess I have to spend more time seeking Him as to where He wants me to go.

I look at my beloved Malaysia- and I think I have become too accepting of a few issues in Malaysia- I need not mention them.  The thing is- things CAN change- it is about how far we are willing to go make the necessary changes...

If you find yourself having nothing to do- just look at your own backyard (not literal) and see how much change needs to sweep this place- it's up to you whether you want to be a part of it or not.

I really do not want to regret living life not investing in things that outlast my lifetime on this earth.

I think it'll be so cool to work in rescue teams that rescue little girls from brothels- lots of courage needed!

So this I pray will be the underlying theme of what I want to spend my holidays doing. I just need to get over the biggest obstacle- myself- and my stupid insecurities that makes me think that I am not good enough to do what God has called me to do.  I just feel- ah- unsatisfied right now.  I don't know how to quite put this into words.